our lives are defined by opprotunites...

It’s not much, but it is where I want and deserve to be....

Wed, 02 May 2012 02:08:22 -0400

It’s not much, but it is where I want and deserve to be. You know, I might not be the best person, but at least I speak my mind, stand up for what I believe in, and take responsibility for my actions. I cannot wait to go home. I cannot wait to be with my family and to get out of Ypsi. I’m pretty sure this is the first time I have ever said this. Long distance is weighing on me. I feel like a lot of people have lost the “caring” gene. I don’t feel like anyone puts others first anymore. I am tired of putting on a “happy face” and I am tired of trying to make everyone happy. This is my time to turn over a new leaf and make myself happy. It’s time to ride motorcycles with my dad and take day trips with my boyfriend. It’s time to see my best friends from home and plan out life after college. Thank the Lord that the Fall 2011- Winter 2012 school year is over. It’s been one hell of a ride, and a shit storm for me.

The people that make me the happiest in my life. These are the...

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 18:04:46 -0500

Me and my sisters

daddy <3

Ron.

the people I'm proud to call my friends

SARAH. EFFING. NOONCHESTER.

The people that make me the happiest in my life. These are the people I live for now. I guess I have never lived for myself really. I know that sounds really stupid, but I would rather do something for someone else, then to do something for me. I have been struggling with a lot and these people just make me forget about it all. When I am with them, I have no problems, or I can sort out my problems.
Today at my RA staff meeting we wrote down things on pieces of paper that were crappy about this semester, what we wanted to put behind us, and thing that we overcame or hated…ect, ect. There are a lot of things that I overcame this semester that I am proud of. I may have become a honestly blunt person in spite of it, but if people really knew me, I would like to say that they would know to look past that. I have had a lot to reflect on. I have had a lot to overcome. I have had the shittiest semester of my life, and somehow these people in these pictures have really helped me more than they could possibly ever know. I don’t know what I would have done with out them. To be honest, I contemplated dropping out. I felt so alone at times. But I am so grateful that I can go my sorority house and I have girls that have supported me through the darkest times of my life. I am fortunate to have the family, boyfriend, friends, and sisters that I have. Because who knows where I could have been instead of right here.

Photo

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:47:22 -0500

Today in class I went through TRUE colors training. I think...

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 01:54:34 -0500

Today in class I went through TRUE colors training. I think that this is something very beneficial that really helps people learn how to read others and get along with them. When I saw my “colors” being explained, it just seemed that in that moment everything made sense. I would love to share this with my sisters and I have asked to do a program on it next semester for the RAs in my building and a larger scale project for residents that live in my building. It’s a great opportunity to get to know yourself and to see what true color you really are and how to deal with life’s unexpected twists and turns.

i love pigs. <3

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 01:29:06 -0500

i love pigs. <3

i wish...

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 03:53:16 -0400

… that I could say something so inspirational that it moves mountains.

… that I could be/stay friends with the people that mean the most to me in my life.

… that I was recognized for what I actually do, instead of people assuming that I did something horrible by listening to tales told behind my back.

… that I could tell people how I actually feel sometimes.

… that it was the second half of sophomore year again and all I did was hang out with my roommates. I miss those girls.

… that I wasn’t so busy all the time.

… that I had more time to get to know more of my sisters.

… that I had a better relationship with my own sister.

I was at the library with my big brother yesterday. All my problems/ troubles go away when I am around him. He listens to me complain, and we laugh about the silliest things. Like yesterday, I was setting a bad example as an RA because I forgot my ID and he sprinted to catch the door so I could tailgate and get into the building. It might not seem funny to others, but he always knows how to brighten my day. It’s going to be really hard to leave this place. I mean, it’s always a bitter-sweet feeling to leave school for the summer, but I feel like this year is going to be particularly hard. I have all these girls I need to keep in touch with over the summer, especially Cogo, MJ, Alyssa, Sarah, Kathleen, Victoria, and Miranda I just don’t get on facebook and I hope that doesn’t hinder our relationship. They are all staying here and I’m hiking my ass back to Ohio, and hopefully to Boston. (I’m really hoping for this job). I just hope everything doesn’t change when I’m gone. I hope I don’t get lost in my own world at home that I forget what I truly value besides education here. I’ve never had friends like these and it’s really hard to say bye every summer.

I don’t know what I am going to do once school is all said and done with. Everyone is going to be a big kid, except for me. Everyone, it seems, it staying at their respective schools over the summer, and I am just going home to work. Not being productive. I have so many goals for the summer and I hope that I get them all done. I really, really, want that job. I think that it would be the single most spontaneous thing I have ever done in my whole life. I really hope that they want me!!!! GAHHHH.

Here’s to hoping <3

Without You-- Relay for Life

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 01:44:17 -0400

notthesunn:

Without you the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows. Without you the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly without you. The Earth turns, the sun burns, but I die without you. Without you the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves. Without you the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash. The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry without you. The moon glows, the river flows, but I die without you.

** RELAY FOR LIFE, My perspective.

This past weekend was Relay for Life. Even though I was dreading it (because it’s the end of the semester and EVERYONE has a lot going on) I still really enjoyed myself. I have never been that involved with Relay. I was a co-captain for Sigma Kappa and I enjoyed it a lot. Though there were times where I just wanted to cry, we made it through… even better than I thought that we would. We raised over a hundred and fifty dollars more than we were supposed to, and I think that is amazing. All of the girls of the Delta Alpha chapter did a superb job.

What really hit me close to home was the Luminary Ceremony. I have had two grandparents die from cancer, and other people in my life/ family be affected by this horrible disease. This is when I realized Relay for Life was bigger than just me. Bigger than just my sisters. Bigger than I could ever imagine it could be. There was a dancer, her name was Joy, who danced to “Fix You” by Coldplay. I tried my hardest to not to cry, but I couldn’t “face the music” so to speak.

I never met one of my grandfathers and he’s not spoken much about now. It’s too hard for my father to talk about his father and how hard he worked for his family. He served in the Vietnam War and saved all of his money. He didn’t spend a dime. He sent it all back to his family, because they needed it more than he did. He died of esophagial cancer. My mom said that she knew it was the start of the end when he wouldn’t go to the doctor anymore and stopped smoking. He died on Thanksgiving. My dad said that all he remembers is having a silent dinner, and then going to the hospital. Thanksgiving is a special time for my family because of this. Even though my dad is always sad, we still are thankful that we have one another.

My other grandfather, on my mother’s side, died of brain cancer. It spread all throughout his body. It started in his liver and just went everywhere. He fought it for 3 years. Even though I had met him, up until the age of eight, I was scared to death of him. Unbeknown to me I had two years left with him. I had two years to get to know the only grandfather in my life. I guess I tried my hardest. Towards the end of his life, about 6 months before he died, he wrote letters to all 12 of his grandchildren. My letter told me to be a strong young woman. To know that I am beautiful no matter what happens and to love my family and hold them near. I cherish that letter. It’s probably my most prized possession. I’m so glad that I have that to hold on to. It sits in my bedside table in my room at home… now that I think about it, I should probably have my mom lock it up in the safe so if the house ever catches fire, I can still have it. Even though it is signed “grandpa Joe” by my grandmother, I still hold it near and dear to my heart. I had the “symbolic” letter of this at cookie pass. I cried as I am crying now. I appreciate him for that.

I dedicated a luminary to both of my grandfathers. I walked the silent path with some of my closest friends here at Eastern. They saw my pain as I saw theirs and the song posted above, to me, will never viewed the same was. I will always hold a connection with those people that I walked with that night. It was so empowering. It really took me to a different place. I love those people that I walked with and I hope they feel the same way about me. Words cannot describe what I feel right now. I will hold that connection with them forever-at my first relay-at the very first time I became passionate about it.

I want to apply to be on the committee next year. Even though I know at times it is going to be a high-stress situation, I want to better myself. I want to give out to the community and those who felt the same way that I did during that ceremony. I have so many thoughts and ideas and I hope that I can contribute in the way that I would better Relay here at Eastern. I know my experiences with this will last me a lifetime, and motivate me to relay as much as I can.

time is a cold wind blowing through the trees.

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 02:51:45 -0400

In reality, it’s more like I found safety. My life is hectic. It’s ridiculous. I know there are a lot of people who contribute to being wonderful in my life but I just want to dedicate a little blurb to some of them here. I know there are multiple people that make my life a little bit easier in the sense that I just can’t get enough of them, but here it goes.

Matthew Jones. For so many reasons, this year, he has been my rock at EMU. We have gone through a lot of things together and I appreciate him more and more each day. Though there are some that don’t approve of our friendship, we still stuck it out and it has proven to be a breath of fresh air. He can somehow always make me smile and make a rainy one into a sunny one. He’s such a kind-hearted person and is genuine. I wouldn’t have asked for a different big. Granted, I asked him over a year ago, but he still agreed. It seems like only yesterday that it was the beginning of school and it seemed like guys were the only ones I could talk to. He was there for me then, and still is now.

Kelsey Suhre. Not only is she my sister, but a person that I consider a friend. I don’t know if she reminds myself of me when I was a freshman; no matter what, just trying to be happy about life. When I see her and she is feeling down she knows that she can come talk to me. Just by watching her grow this year, I have found something in myself that I never imagined I would. I always try to look on the bright side of things, but she knows how to help me just look at the pros and cons of every situation. I love it when I see her come back to our building just high on life. Laughing, joking, and having fun. I can’t wait to get back to a point like that in my life. Without the stress of school, work, and play. I know we only have a few weeks left but I feel like we have a long way until we come out of the woods and I know without her even know it, that she can help me through.

Last but not least: Cogo. Even though at times we do not see eye to eye on things, we are still big and little. We really complete one another. It’s weird to think that she is a year younger than me, but doesn’t always present herself in that way. Her knowledge of several subjects go far past anything that I could even fathom. She is very intelligent. She can always read me like a book. She can usually tell me what is wrong with me before I even know what is wrong with me. She is very black and white. She is very good to talk to when I need to clear my head. She has talked me down in so many situations. I could never ask for a different big. She is my one and only and I was drawn to her the instant I met her. I think we are both good for one another. I think that this summer I am going to try my hardest to talk to her once a week… because when I am in Ohio, it’s a whole different world. I get wrapped up in 70 hour work weeks and doing “manly” things with my father. But I think that she is good for me… and I can only hope I provide the same outlet for her as she does for me.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
- Anais Nin

"Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 16:20:02 -0400

The Shawshank Redemption: A story about hope, freedom, and friendship.

Filmed in my hometown of Mansfield, OH.

Red: [narrating] I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

I love this movie and it comes out this week. :] — Super...

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 15:53:16 -0400

I love this movie and it comes out this week. :] — Super excited.

"It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 00:27:19 -0400

“It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

- — J.K Rowling

I have changed so much in the past year. I hope I like what I...

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 21:13:00 -0400

I have changed so much in the past year. I hope I like what I have become.

Benjamin Button: Sometimes we’re on a collision course, and we just don’t know it. Whether it’s by accident or by design, there’s not a thing we can do about it.

Photo

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 22:21:51 -0500